Sunday, July 10, 2005

Being thankful

I've had a sluggish week of negative emotions and ill health. It seemed like every where I looked, there was sadness and trouble. Recent world events, natural disasters, and personal troubles in the lives of those close to me left me feeling helpless. I wanted to stay in bed and be a lump. I felt troubled at a very deep level - at a subconscious level, I couldn't shake off this sense of exhaustion - desperation, almost. I retreated from my friends and shied away from gatherings, unable to muster up the energy to be social.

I am slowly working through my issues, coming to terms with myself. This phase is not useful or helpful to anyone, including myself. My own lack of inertia is what is keeping me sluggish. What am I accomplishing by retreating into my own shell?

I have a lot to be thankful for and a lot I need to contribute back to the world. I lead a very fortunate life. I have a healthy support network, a challenging and rewarding job with the most supportive boss one can imagine, a comfortable home to sleep in, and the means to pursue all my passions. I need to stay focused on what I can give back to the world for all that I have been given - and to get stuck in this phase of spiraling negativity is inexcusable behavior on my part.

So, with that, I am picking myself up and moving on. I am going to let my creativity guide me and try to produce goodness. I am going to actively participate in various avenues I can contribute to and bring the best I have to offer. I have a lot to be thankful for, and when the going gets tough - that's when I need to be my strongest and provide my best support to those who need it.

With a cup of coffee and some pain au chocolat, I'm beginning a new and recharged day!


The Papa Bear said...

That's the spirit, Baby Bear!

Fatemeh Khatibloo-McClure said...

A -
There is definitely something out of alignment.

Like you, C and I have been watching a spate of tragedies and turmoil around us.

Here's hoping that whatever cosmic forces are at play settle back into their regular routines soon.

Alice said...

Papa & F-

Yes, all this craziness. I just feel lost sometimes... But I'm slowly coming out of it...